Living Like A Disaster
by Aly Speed and Screaming Faerie
Summary: The year before the Dark Lord fell. Everyone sort of lived. Many drifted. Some towards the light and others sunk in the dark.
1. Welcome Home, Ida

_Hello. Co-authorship. Yes. Since we're in a giving tree mood, we're posting the first three chapters. I'm no JK, she's not JK. Just JK is Rowing so. Yeah.  
_

* * *

Cold.

Why did it have to be so damn cold? She hugged her dressing gown. Tea wasn't warming up her body as it was supposed to.

What's the point of a hot drink if it doesn't warm one up anyway? She frowned at her cup before attempting another sip. Her tongue scorched but damnit if her body didn't absorb any warmth.

"Cissy this tastes awful." Her cousin whined. He sat on her sofa as if he owned it. Legs stretched out over the arm and his muddy shoes dripped mud on the carpet. The clean white carpet. The _new_ white carpet.

"Make your own cup with your own tea at your own house!" She took his cup from his hands, wincing as some spilled on the coffee table and on the said carpet.

"I'm sorry, Cissy." He kicked off his left shoe, literally, which end up knocking into her bookshelf. The other hit a wall. She smacked him behind the head much to his discomfort.

"Oi! That hurt." He rubbed back of head while she pulled nasty and mean faces. He took none of them seriously.

"Why are you here? I was sleeping. Then you come and break my bedroom window!" She stands to smack him again but he is out of reach and she just sat down, so she lowers her self.

"I have a job at the ministry." He said.

"Yes, I know." She took a sip of her new beverage-coffee. It tasted just as bad as the tea. She nearly spat it out.

"No. You don't get it." He turned round to face her. " I have a job at the ministry and I'm dating Alecto Carrow. I'm living the life my mum wants!"

Narcissa tried to picture a world where her dear auntie Wally would want to date Alecto Carrow. A very scary visual place. Bright and pastel. She shuddered.

"And this realization led you to breaking my bedroom window?"

"Sorry about that but did you have to hit me with that paddle thing?" He rubs his head and adjusts himself so he is lying on his back again.

"I thought you were Lucious." She says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why would he crawl through your bedroom window?" He frowns as he ponders this.

"Because he isn't allowed to come through the front door."

He wasn't allowed in the flat even.

"Why not? Thought you loved him?" He nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears a strange choking-squealing noise. Narcissa face has gone purple and the cup she had been holding is on her lap along with the hot contents of the cup.

"Cissy?"

She ran out of the living room and into her bedroom and slammed the door shut. Several crashes and incoherent swears followed, she entered the room dressed in gray sweats.

"No."

She budged him over with her hip and sat next to him on the couch. He sat up and scratched the back of his head.

"Bad break up?" He pats her back. She moves away from his touch.

"No break up. Two dates. Worst days of my life. Never again. Why I quit the ministry. Didn't want to run into him."

"He doesn't work for the ministry."

"But he is there enough."

They sit in silence for a moment. She rests her head onto his shoulder before snapping back into an upright position.

"Does Alecto know you don't want to date her anymore?"

He pulls her into a hug and holds her tight.

"I love you, Narcissa Black." He kisses her temple. She manages to wiggle out of his grasp and jumps to her feet.

"You haven't told her have you, Reg?" She already knows the answer and groans.

"Thought if another woman told her she wouldn't feel bad?"

He smiles but it fails to amuse. He pats the couch and reluctantly Narcissa sits down.

"I'm quitting my job at the ministry which means I wont have any money to afford rent and mum may be a bit upset when I tell I want to try new things."

Narcissa did not want to know what "new things" meant nor did think she would like where the rest of his new life had concerned her.

"You want to move in with me until everything is sorted." Wasn't a question but more of a depressing reality. She liked being on her own. She could have naked Tuesdays and play the latest _Weird Sisters_ album as loud as she wanted.

"My stuff is by the bush outside your window."

Men.

"No."

He yawned and stretched his arms. Narcissa narrows her eyes.

"Tired."

He closed his eyes.

"What about Sirius or those idiot schoolmates of yours?"

He waved hand dismissively and snorted.

"Sirius lives with Remus and Mott doesn't bathe and the others are married. Or something."

Ah.

She wasn't going to give in. Not yet. She grabbed both of his wrists and tried in vain to pull him up to his feet.

"What," she tugged, " about," tug, " Barty?" She tugged but ended up falling backwards.

"He lives in an obnoxious part of town. Full of these snooty-"

"He said no." She said from the floor.

He nodded.

"The bastard. Slammed the door in my face!" He punched the air with his fists.

She should have pushed him out the window instead. She cursed herself.

"One week."

He sighed loudly and fixed the pillow on the couch.

"I don't know Cissy. Remember when you were ill? I was the only one who wasn't afraid to be in the same room as you." He exhaled dramatically and pouted at her.

Oh that bastard.

"One month." She said this as if the words were a source of great pain.

"Thanks. Get me a blanket, yeah? Freezing in here."

She already hated him as a roommate. She started her trek for the requested blanket when he demanded more.

"Maybe something warm like tea? But good tea. That stuff you gave me was rubbish. This what you serve to all your guests?"

She wondered how long it would be before she killed him.


	2. Beneath you she weeps

_How do you like my darkness now?_

She was able to sneak off to work without coming in contact with her cousin. He sneaked in bed with her while she slept. When they were younger they used to have sleepovers and they would share a bed sometimes but he's seventeen now and she's in her twenties. A bit awkward for bed sharing.

"You're late." Her editor points out as she hurries past his desk.

After she decided to rid one Lucious Malfoy from her life, she's been working at the Daily Prophet. For the most part she enjoys it. She's the photographer and partner of one Xenophilius Lovegood. He's strange and never asks her out. It's a perfect relationship, not that she thinks they have one. Because they don't.

"Good. You're here!' Xenophilius grabs her by the arm and pulls her into the small office they share. He shoves a photograph under her nose. It's blank.

"Well?" He asks eagerly. She glances at him before looking at the photo in question once more. Yeah. Still nothing.

"You have truly massive skills, Xeno." She says dryly before shoving him and the photo away.

"Nargles!" He taps the photo with his hand.

"Who?"

"They thrive off of mistletoe. My wife has been experimenting with it in her potions and I was able to capture them on my camera, as you can clearly see." He taps again.

"What do we have today?' She asks ignoring his excitement. He sighs and walks over to his desk and pulls out a piece or parchment from the clutter.

"Someone was burgled last night. Our master wants us to interview the family."

Narcissa and Xeno hated interviews.

* * *

He swallowed and prayed that ground would rise up and eat him. He could feel his spine slip off of his back and into his shoes. Why oh why did he have to eat a garlic sandwich before his interview?

Strange toys he couldn't place filled the shelves of the office. Pictures of a happy family on a picnic, he thanked the gods of photography for making wizard photos soundless. He couldn't stand children. He was barley seventeen, he was supposed to not like children. He, however, loved toys and jokes which is why he was here: Zonkos.

The man who could be his savior from his hum drum life finally makes his appearance. He's not at all what Regulus had imagined him to be: tall, gangly and a tweedy and stuffy looking suit and jacket combo. His heart leapt to his throat.

"You just graduated." He gave Regulus the once over before taking his seat behind the desk. What was his name?

"Yes."

He folded his hands. Not a good sign. Regulus gulped and felt sweat run down his nose. He fought to urge to wipe it with his sleeve. He needed to have an air of class.

"You left your job at the ministry after two months."

Oh gods.

"I wasn't happy." His voice cracked. He caught his hand few inches from his nose, he froze and the lowered the hand. The nameless man was not impressed. Was he THE Zonok?

"You're a bit young. Don't you think?"

What.

"This is a joke shop."

"Yes."

"This is a joke shop." He repeated. Clearly the man was confused.

"I am aware of that. We just don't have need for new employee's."

Regulus''s heart sank to his toes

* * *

Muggle transport wasn't something Narcissa was fond of and she knew that would not change soon. The car they were given needed a new paint job. The metal frame had started to rust, the seats upholstery had been torn and ripped as if something with claws threw a tantrum.

Xeno, for reasons that Narcissa could only think that were explained by his curious insanity, enjoyed the car. They had to stop every thirty minutes because the engine would start to emit a dark smoke.

During these periods of rest and waiting Xeno would fiddle with the radio, was it called that? He raised the music to ear shattering levels and only stopped when Narcissa threatened to relive him of his nether parts. He loved them and his wife had wanted offspring so he relented for their future children's sake.

By the time they had reached their destination it was half past midnight and all the other press had left. In a way that had been a blessing, having to stop so much. Narcissa hated strangers and small talk whereas Xeno seemed to live off of it. What a pair they had made.

"Ah!" Xeno said happily as he stepped out of the vehicle and shut the door on poor Narcissa's face. She tried to resist the temptation of throttling him and opened the door into his back, she smiled in satisfaction as he cried out.

"You could have said something." He grimaced as he rubbed his backside. Narcissa smiled cheekily before turning her attention to the mission-the muggle house.

"What do you think?" His humor and pain left him as he looked at the house. The door was removed and yellow tape had wrapped around the front yard as a barrier.

Narcissa pulled out her camera ready to take pictures. Xeno beckoned her to walk further. They ducked under the yellow tape and walked along the path to the missing front door.

"Can you feel that?" He shuddered. He wrapped his long cloak around him tightly. Narcissa looked up into the sky. He copied her actions.

"It's gone now but it was there, wasn't it? Can't you feel it?"

"Yes. It was. Good thing too. Don't know if I would want to see his sign."

He stepped back and let her go through the frame first.

"We're sane. I also like to think you, like me, are sensitive to evil. You'd make a razzlewhurl jealous."

She didn't want to enable his strangeness any further than she had already but when compared to creatures that don't exist, it does make one curious.

" I can make what jealous?"

"Razzlewhurl. They are attracted to the dark. People often mistake them for nargles. Nargles are mostly harmless, the most they'll do is work as an aphrodisiac. Razzlewhurls also make your body tingle. You know that pins and needles feeling when your foot falls asleep? That's a razzlewhurl leaving your body."

She was a attracted to the dark and made your toes tingle?

"I'm sorry but is this an insult?" Someone was going to get a smack.

"I meant that you can sense the dark. It can be a good thing. You know the different between good and bad. You can sense it, feel it, the evil that had been here?"

Ah.

"Oh."

He flipped a switch on the wall and the dark room became illuminated. The front area before the stairs was very . . homey. The coat and key racks were covered completely. Shoes of different sizes and colors lined up against the side of the stair case on the right side. Pictures line the wall.

They walked further inside and walked passed the stairs and into the kitchen. Several plates and dishes were left out on the stove and counters. The owner was just about to have dinner before-

"They didn't clean this up yet?" Narcissa felt a chill run through her body. Xeno frowned and walked to the dinning area. The chair at the end of the table lay on the floor, turned over as if by a sudden movement.

Four places were set to dine and glasses were half full but Narcissa would argue half empty if you asked her. A family had live here. They ate dinner together and their little muggle routine had been interrupted by darkness.

Xeno walked to a shelf behind the table. Several small pictures, all not moving much to their surprise, grabbed his attention. One in the middle,it was pink with the words "Kayleigh" painted on in awful child handwriting. A beautiful young blonde child smiled at whomever had taken the photograph.

Kayleigh. he assumed, was sitting on a plaid blanket on the grass. She had a pink straw hat and held the frame a bit tighter than he had expected. He dropped the picture when Narcissa placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She-they had a daughter she was-" He trailed off. Narcissa frowned and glanced to the shelf. Perhaps they shouldn't continue to look at their things.

"We have to ask what happened to her." He tried to keep the strain out of his voice. He failed. Narcissa nodded and pulled him away from the shelf.

"They put us up at the inn. We should go. We can't do anything until the morning." She didn't know how or when her hand went to his or why she didn't care he was holding her.

"A family lived here." He felt his knees buckle and Narcissa yelped in surprise. She tried to pull him up to his feet. He was unconscious. She cursed the gods. He had fainted.

He felt something touch his face. His eyelids flutter and his bottom lip curls and trembles. Narcissa squeezes his nose and he chokes and sits up as he gasps for air.

"You've been asleep for two hours." She's leaning over him. He locks eyes with hers and they look at each other. The walls of the room slowly fall away and they are the only beings left in the universe, if only for a moment.

"They were supposed to be alive." His voice is low and he is trying so hard to keep his emotions in check. He knows how uncomfortable it makes Narcissa. She is his only friend and he cannot lose her.

"They were robbed though. One of the cabinets was open. Something was taken."

Narcissa realizes that she is still hovering over him and blushes. She moves away and turns round so her back is to him.

"Where are we?"

The room is dirty. The carpet is lime and has seen some better days and the wallpaper has cracked and is starting to peel. Just as well, the design is stupid, smiling suns. Really.

The bed is not much of a comfort either. The blanket looks like it has made love with a muddy sand dune.

"The motel they set us up with." She answers, still avoiding looking at him. He turns his head to the side table. He reaches out and caresses the lamp shade. He loves muggles and their quirky things.

"It's a dump." His tone light. She can hear his smile. She walks to the closet. The distance makes her feel more easy.

"It's how they feel about us I suppose."

The bed creaks as he moves. She catches herself mid turn and keeps her eyes away from his frame. He's sitting up though, she figures that much.

"I guess some good came out of this for you, eh?"

His smile doesn't reach his eyes but gods is he trying to keep the tension away.

"What?"

She allows her eyes to wonder over to his face. Has the room turned into stove? She pulled off her scarf and pulled off her jacket.

"You don't have to interview anyone."

Because they're dead but he wont say that. He can't.

"Xeno-"

"- I love you-

" You're sleeping on the floor."

"- But I don't want to share my bed with you."

They always end up talking over each other about different things.

She feels a force throw her into the wall behind her. His words ring in her eyes and she doesn't understand any of this.

" My wife and I," He starts, " we're going to work things out. She- I- we want kids and." He doesn't know how to finish that sentence. She says nothing as she looks down at the floor. Her vision blurry and her burn from pressure.

"Why are you telling me this?"

She hugs her chest and wishes she were in bed at her flat alone with the lights off and her music signing softly to her.

"You make me happy in ways she never will but I have to choose her. I'll sleep on the floor but I don't want that. . . we can't. Not anymore."

He stands up and she wants the world to swallow her whole.

* * *

_Love this. Hate this. Review this._


	3. Oh Dear

"I said no," Barty muttered, leaning against the door frame to prevent Regulus from coming into his flat.

"We're supposed to be friends!" Regulus whined in a childish manner, pulling his hood further around his ears. It was freezing.

"We are!" Barty groaned. "Look, I've told you. It's a two-room bedsit and one of them Is a bathroom. There's hardly any room for me here, let alone another fully grown man. I thought you were staying with your cousin, anyway?"

"I am," Regulus sounded exasperated. "But she doesn't want me there, for Merlin's sake. She's having trouble with her husband, and I'm pretty sure she's screwing, or trying to screw some guy at work. Whenever I mention work she goes all soft-eyed. Come on, I don't want to be listening to that when I'm trying to sleep…" Regulus looked up at Barty hopefully.

Barty cocked an eyebrow, looking amused. A smirk slowly grazed his features. He was probably picturing the sight of Narcissa, sprawled out naked with a faceless stranger. Regulus' insides boiled with sudden fury at the thought of anyone thinking of his cousin in such a manner, and then bubbled with something else….jealousy?

He shook his head free from reason as Barty spoke. "And what if I'm screwing, or trying to screw some guy?" He paused, his grin widening. "Come on. You don't want to hear that." He folded his arms across his chest, his point made.

Regulus grimaced somewhat, before sighing loudly. "Fine. Whatever. I get it."

"Well, you can come in for a drink if you want -" but Regulus shrugged him off mid-sentence.

"No. I have a date." He looked pained.

"Ah." Barty licked his dry lips. "Alecto?"

"Alecto."

Alecto was plump, short, with shoulder-length dark hair and pretty brown eyes. As Regulus pushed through the bustling crowd of couples heading for clubs or eateries in the jazzy London nightlife, a chubby hand popped up through the mass of heads, a small voice calling his name. Regulus rushed forward, grabbing the wrist and pulling Alecto out of the sea of people.

They headed towards a small restaurant called Madam Rosmerta's, and sat down at a small table near the window. Alecto straightened her wide rimmed hat over her neatly blow-dried fringe. She pulled a strangely large bag onto the table. "I must say, you're rather late, Regulus," she looked around vaguely, instead of making eye contact."

"Oh, yeah, sorry, well, you see, I had to go see a friend.."

Alecto stared at him questioningly.

"Well, you know I'm not exactly living anywhere right now, because I quit my job and my mum kicked me out after she went completely barmy and refused to give me any more money. So Cissy's letting me kip at her place, but she doesn't really want me there, and I don't blame her, so I've been trying to get Barty to -"

"Barty," grumbled Alecto. Not many people liked Barty.

"- to let me camp out at his until I get a job that she'll approve of."

"Not Zonko's then?" Alecto smiled playfully, but Regulus shot her a dark look. Zonko's joke shop was the only job he'd ever wanted to work at, and be happy at the same time. "Well, it's okay, isn't it, because you will have a home soon," Alecto changed the subject, smiling wider.

She began to pull several piles of parchment and what looked like an occasion planner out of her bag. Before he could question her, a bored-looking woman with curly, dyed blonde hair and her signature sparkly turquoise heels, slumped her top half over the table. Madam Rosmerta flipped a notebook out, and pressed the point of her pencil to the page.

"What can I get'cha?" She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, yawning.

"I'll have the lasagna. And a bottle of white wine, too, I think, to celebrate." Alecto passed the menu over to Regulus. There was a flush on her face.

"Celebrate…?" Regulus took the menu from her. "I'll-I'll just have the Soup of the Day." Madam Rosmerta jotted it down in a spidery script, thanking them, and walking away to the next blushing, giggling couple. "What are you talking about, celebrate?" Regulus watched her open the leather bound planner. She sucked the end of her pen thoughtfully.

"Are you playing some kind of joke on me?" She propped her reading glasses on the end of her nose and looked up at him reproachfully.

He blinked at her, thoroughly confused. "No - Alecto - I really, really, don't know what you're talking about…"

She sighed heavily. "She was supposed to have told you! I don't believe this! It's the reason we met up. I don't want to do it myself, but I've been planning all week now…for heavens sake…" she threw her pen down. "You were meant to have been assisting in arrangements!"

"What arrangements? Alecto, help me out here!" Their voices were gradually getting louder, and people were looking over at their table, annoyance etched into faces.

"We're getting married!" Bellowed Alecto, a silence following. Regulus froze. This had to be a joke. Any other time, with anyone else, he would've laughed in their face, but Alecto looked as stern as a stone; deadpan serious.

"What - shut up - don't joke about things like that - when did I - when did you - what?"

Alecto looked out of the window, shaking her head. "Your mother. And my father. It was arranged from the moment they introduced us together. I'm from a respectable pure-blood family and so are you, so it was only fitting that we should be married -"

Regulus held up his hands to shut her up. "When?"

"Last week. My father told me last week, said your mother already let you know -"

He stood up quickly, knocking over his chair in haste. "Alecto, look -"

Alecto sighed. "Don't freak out, Regulus, you're embarrassing yourself," she stretched out a consoling hand pleadingly.

"I'm - Alecto…" he rubbed his suddenly sweating forehead. "I can't get married! We're barely out of school! I don't have a home, I don't have a job -"

"- Do you think I want to?" Alecto looked angry, now. "You had a perfectly good job, you just quit it because you're a selfish -"

"Alecto! If you don't want to, then why are we even dating in the first place?"

"Because…because…"

"We haven't even kissed or anything, we can't jump straight into marriage-"

"It's not my idea!" Alecto screeched. "I actually have a life to live too, you know! I was just under the impression that you followed a strict, sex-after-marriage - are you laughing at me?"

Regulus had accidentally snorted briefly into his sleeve. He cleared his face of expression quickly, and arranged his stern posture. "Alecto, I really think I should -"

"Yes, go!" Alecto threw the wedding planner at him, pages hurling out of it. "And show that to your mother, see how she's embarrassed herself."

Madam Rosmerta suddenly appeared with two plates and a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice, floating casually either side of her. The food sailed towards the table, landing with a clunk sound, which echoed around the silent restaurant. Promptly, Madam Rosmerta vanished again. Only then did Regulus realise everyone had been listening.

He Apparated on the doorstep of Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and stormed through without ringing the doorbell, which would be expected from someone who did not live there anymore. His mother, who was just leaving the Drawing Room, turned to see who had barged in so rudely. Her face seemed to drop when she saw it was him. "Oh. It's you."

"What are you playing at, Mother?" Regulus threw the occasion planner at her feet. She blinked at it morosely, then looked back up at him, her jaw twitching.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" She hissed, marching towards him.

"Arranging for me to be married? I'm eighteen! I don't want to get married for a long time, if ever! I don't have any money -"

"That is because -"

"My lack of a job has nothing to do with it. Why the hell would you do this to me?"

"The Carrows are of excellent blood status! You're a perfect match! The wedding will go on."

"No, it won't!" Regulus clenched his fists. "You didn't even tell me about it. A week has past! You could have contacted me, so I could sort it out with Alecto without embarrassing her, telling her we're not getting married in front of Madam Rosmerta's -"

"Not getting married?" Mrs Black sounded deathly. "Yes, I think you are, Regulus. It's all fixed."

"I'm not getting married," Regulus said stubbornly. "Alecto doesn't want to get married either," he added hastily, as if it made all the difference.

It didn't.

Mrs Black closed her eyes, and swore under her breath profusely. "Are you kidding me, Regulus? Do you want to go the same way as Sirius?"

Regulus froze. It was the first time she'd said his name since he ran away. He knew better than to answer her trick questions. She breathed out, her eyes still shut, pressing her fingers to her temples. "I think you should leave, and come back in a weeks time, and we shall discuss it then."

"I'm not getting married."

"We shall discuss it then." Mrs Black pointed towards the door.

"Mum, I have no money -"

"You are living with Narcissa, correct?"

"Yes, but -"

"Is she feeding you?"

"Of course, but -"

"Then you need no money." Her expression was erratic beyond belief now. He sighed, and left the house. She had shut the door on him as soon as his foot touched the doorstep.

Narcissa didn't answer the door when he arrived. The curtains were all closed, and no lights were on. It took him a moment to realise that Narcissa wasn't like his mother; she wouldn't ignore him and leave him stranded in the cold. She must have been out, probably still at work. But she wasn't alone. He made a mental note to ask about a key, next time he saw her.

For a second, he considered going back to Alecto, apologising again. But he doubted she wanted to see anyone right now, after the performance in the restaurant.

There was only one other option. He turned on the spot and headed towards Barty's flat.

"…how could she do that to me, make me married? I feel so bad for Alecto..it wasn't her fault…"

Barty flicked the channel of the TV over, and yawned ignorantly. Finally, he pressed the power button on the remote control, and the screen flickered to blackness. "Okay, stop bitching. Lets go to sleep."

"Lets…"

Barty groaned and rolled his eyes. "Well, it's not like I want you to," he didn't sound entirely truthful. "After all, there is no room. But it's two in the morning, and I won't sleep at all tonight if you're sleeping on the street."

A warm pool of happiness filled Regulus' tummy. Barty pulled his shirt over his head, flinging it into some random spot in the corner, and Regulus averted his gaze quickly, feeling his ears reddening. But why was he embarrassed? Barty only had what he had.

With a flick of his wand, the light in the lamp vanished, engulfing them in darkness. Regulus was still laid on the rug when he felt Barty step over him, to get to the bed. When he heard Barty turning over to face the wall, Regulus began struggling out of his jeans; the pins in his belt were digging into his back uncomfortably. He instantly regretted it when the cold air hit his legs, and his trousers were lost in the darkness of the living room. He shivered violently.

A white arm, luminous in the dark, appeared over his head, from the bed. "Come on," Barty said gruffly, shaking his arm.

"What?"

"Get in bed. You can't sleep on that disgusting rug without a blanket or a pillow."

"Barty, honest, I'm fine."

"Stop lying, I can hear you rolling around and I feel bad."

"Don't worry-"

"Hurry up before I change my mind!" Barty snapped. The tone of his voice made Regulus jump to his feet, and crawl into the bed submissively.

"Good boy," Barty muttered, tiredly. His voice sounded too close, far too close for Regulus' comfort. It was hours and hours before he finally fell asleep, and when he did, he was only faintly aware of the arm that had crept over his waist.

He didn't sleep much. The sky was only just turning pink when Regulus peeled himself out of bed. He didn't want to see Barty's smirking, told-you-so face when he woke up. It was only a slight touch, but it was still…

It was nothing. Barty probably wouldn't even remember; he'd been asleep.


End file.
